Covid-19 and Disability: A Whole New World

It has been a long time since I last wrote a blog post. This is due to our family life becoming busier with our son starting secondary school and balancing work and everyday life. This post is a bit longer than usual so you may wish to get a cup of tea! 

Since covid-19 has reached the UK, our life has changed quite a lot but at the same time, maybe not as much as other people. The biggest change was when the schools were closed on 20th March 2020. It was a scary time because no one knew how long it would be for and it was unnerving to think that our lives were being limited without us being able to do anything about it. As it turned out, home learning continued until the summer holidays for our son at secondary school while our primary school aged daughter went back for three weeks at the end of the school year. 

I was included on the shielding list as a clinically extremely vulnerable. I wasn't automatically added but when I was unable to get my usual online grocery shop, I learnt online that the way to get a priority slot was to be added as shielding person. It took a few weeks to get on the priority list and in this time Matthew had to go to the supermarket to get some food. This was concerning because it was increasing our risk to the virus. Once I was able to place online orders it was such as relief although for many weeks there were problems with stock levels. We resorted to buying a 16kg bag each of bread flour, self raising flour and plain flour because we couldn't order regular sizes of them and I do a lot of cooking and baking so they were essential. I was contacted by our county's well-being hub to make sure I had all the essentials I needed including food and medications. It was reassuring to know they are there if I need support. My GP also phoned me which I appreciated.

We adapted to our new situation of all being at home. It is very fortunate that we have an office above our garage that we run our business from which meant our working routine was very similar and the children each had their own desk. It did impact our day though having to help them with schoolwork. It was very exhausting and not easy trying to be motivating in a setting that didn't have the variety they have at school. We managed and kept up with most of the work but it wasn't easy. I do feel lucky that the work I do is based from home and that there is no pressure to go back into a workplace. I think that would be very worrying as the shielding measures were lifted on 1st August. 

When the primary schools started opening, we were pleased because it was that home learning that was the hardest. Unfortunately it was a bit of a challenge to get our daughter back into school, which was completely unexpected. We signed the form saying that we wanted her to go back but were then informed she couldn't join her peers because I was shielding and they couldn't take anyone, staff or pupil, who was from a shielding family. The policy was in place while the social distancing recommendations was two metres and they couldn't guarantee they would maintain two metre distance between the children at all times. This made me rather sad, it didn't seem right that she was being prevented from attending school because of me although I did partly understand the school's position. We had balanced the risks of her bringing covid-19 home with the many positive benefits to her mental health of being back with her peers and decided that returning to school was best for her. It felt very unfair and a barrier to being able to access the same parts of life as everyone else. Some people who were shielding would choose not to send their children to school, and that is completely fine. I just think it should be up to each individual to make the decision themselves based on their circumstances, especially when it isn't the child who is shielding. Thankfully, within a few weeks the guidance for social distancing was reduced to one metre or more which meant that she could return to school.

Shielding has been valuable because helped to ensure that extra support is available to those who need it. It officially lifted on 1st August, although the government say it can be reintroduced at any time if the rates of infection increase. It feels like it lifted too early, especially as it is less than a month after shops, pubs, restaurants etc have opened as well as hairdressers and other areas of the leisure and entertainment industry. We don't yet know the implication of all this easing and people being more mobile around the country and abroad over the summer. It makes me feel even more cautious and wary about my risk of catching the virus. During lockdown I felt safer because everyone was doing the same thing and there was the expectation to stay at home. When out for essential trips people were more likely to keep their distance and there were far fewer people in general. Lockdown has eased and with it people are becoming less cautious. My personal belief is that shielding has been lifted this early because it helps the economy and means that employers can bring people who have shielded back to work as long as they are covid-secure. There is another possible different view that some people are glad shielding has lifted because they have been keen to return to work and couldn't previously because of the restrictions. However, I think it is too early, and from what I have read on social media, I am not alone.

Government guidance regarding shielding has been conflicting, from 6th July they said that you can meet up to six people outside while maintaining social distancing. From 1st August shielding ends and you can visit the shops etc as anyone else would. They still say that you need to adhere to strict social distancing and that where you can, you should stay at home as much as possible to minimise your risk of catching the virus. So, on one hand they are saying that you can lead a life like everyone else, but then on the other, you are advised to stay at home because there is still a big risk for you! We are making our own judgments and staying home. We haven't seen family and friends and haven't visited places because it feels like too much of a risk at the moment.  We are concerned that others aren't keeping a distance or wearing masks and it is also a concern about picking up the virus from touching something. In particular if I needed the loo while out, this would be a big issue because I use all the grab rails, need to push the door with my hand etc. People without a disability would be able to minimise their contact with other surfaces but this is a lot hard for me as a wheelchair user and also visually impaired. 

My multicoloured crochet shawl that I finished

We do miss everyone and it's harder now lockdown is over but we keep in touch with FaceTime, Zoom and phone calls. If I were to catch covid-19, I am at greater risk of it affecting me badly and we don't want to take that risk. It would have too much of an impact to our children, family life, business and finances. We are fortunate to live in a home with a garden that we enjoy surrounded by countryside. Also, it's giving us a good opportunity to work on all the decorating that needs doing and I've finished some crochet projects!

Putting aside my concerns about catching the virus if I were to go out freely, there are now many obstacles in my path that make me feel more disabled than I have ever felt. I usually get out and about independently using the buses or trains because I am unable to drive due to my sight loss. These forms of transport just don't feel safe, especially as I am not feeling confident about the wearing of face coverings being enforced. I often use my hands to feel my way around if I am maneuvering in an unfamiliar spaces, this includes on trains and buses. Then I will obviously touch my joystick on my wheelchair and my long cane. All of this could lead to picking up and transferring the virus. Plus I believe that there are limits to how many people are allowed on the bus to enforce social distancing so it may not be possible to get on in the first place. Buses aren't very frequent around here so it could get rather frustrating!

Our pink garden roses.

If I were to actually manage to get to my destination, such as go to town for some shopping, I am anxious about what that whole experience would be like. My tunnel vision means I cannot see very much and it becomes very confusing when familiar places change. In an unfamiliar setting I'll often feel overwhelmed and feel claustrophobic. There are plans to widen some parts of the pavement in the high street of our local town and this likely to be hard to navigate because it would be a very different layout to the one I am used. I think the intention is to also add more outdoor seating for eating places, 'street furniture' is always an issue if you have sight loss or use a wheelchair. It will probably feel crowded and cause lots of unfamiliar obstacles to navigate while trying to keep two metres apart. Friends and family have told me that there are now markings on the floor of shops guiding you where to go but I wouldn't be able to see these. I definitely wouldn't be able to see if people were around me and would struggle to keep the two metres distance that I'm so keen to do. I would worry about other people's reactions if I got too close or broke one of the guidelines. I would also be very concerned about others getting too close to me and that I wouldn't be able to move away because it would be difficult maneuvering an electric wheelchair in shops with others around while maintain social distancing especially when I can't see them! When I'm shopping, I need to pick up the items, look at them closely and feel them because I cannot see well. Now, I understand that this is discouraged to avoid the spread of covid-19 but that then becomes another disabling barrier to me and many other people with visual impairments. Sight loss is an invisible disability and although we may have aids to help us such as guide dogs and long canes, for many it is not obvious that we have an impairment and that it has a massive impact on our everyday lives. 

A crochet rainbow that I made.

Technically, according to the guidelines, I don't have to wear a face covering because my disability causes breathing problems - I have weakened chest muscles and use a bipap machine at night to aid my breathing. It fluctuates from day to day how easy I find breathing, some days my chest muscles are more worn out and breathing is more tiring. It's not something that's visible to anyone else, it's how I feel within myself. Although I don't have to wear a face covering, I have bought a couple of masks for the times that I have to go out, e.g. I'm anticipating going to the doctor's surgery in the next few months for my flu jab and I'm also due a dentist appointment. I am expecting the mask to make my breathing a little harder but I would rather wear one than have to explain to others why I am not and I would not expect to be in these places long. Also, I think that by wearing one it will hopefully help encourage others to do the same and it will be an expectation and considered 'normal'. I have chosen to wear a face mask rather than a scarf or buff because both my hands are controlling my wheelchair and holding my long cane so I'd be unable to adjust a face covering easily and I thought a mask would be more secure.

For now, we are continuing as we have been and hoping that our children are able to return to school in September but it's really difficult to plan more than a week ahead because the situation changes all the time. It is hard to know how much at risk we are of catching the virus in our area, statistics can be interpreted in different ways (!) but we are acting in the way we feel most comfortable and I think that is all anyone can do, while adhering to the recommendations for precautions and social distancing. 

I hope you enjoyed the insight into how it has been for me during the pandemic. Please do let me know if you have experiences from shielding, it would be really good to hear your viewpoint.

~ Best wishes, Melissa ~

My long cane and I

You may be aware from one of my posts on Twitter/Facebook/Instagram that I have recently bought a new long cane and made the decision to have a coloured one. It was something that I thought a lot about and followed a good number of online discussions about the pros and cons of a coloured cane vs a white cane. On one hand, many people say that a long cane should be white because it is a recognised symbol of visual impairment whereas a coloured cane may not be linked to sight loss. Ironically though, even with an all white long cane, people still asked me what it was for. White is reflective which is a safety aspect to consider. The other viewpoint is that choosing a particular colour/s for your cane allows you to personalise it and express your own individuality. It's also fun!

I see my long cane as way of expressing my individuality and saying 'this is an aspect of me and I like colourful things'. I don't mind being being a bit different with my choice of cane colour. It wasn't always this way though, when I was growing up I just wanted to fit in and be like everyone else. My wheelchair, thick glasses (before they became fashionable) and crutches separated me from my peers. I really didn't like my individual image and lacked confidence and belief in myself. This was before the time of social media, society is now openly more inclusive and expresses more positively about the wide range of diversity in the world - we are all individual in our own way and it doesn't matter. Our differences make us unique and this is a positive thing.

As my sight worsened in my late teens, I was introduced to a symbol cane. This is a short cane used to indicate to others that you have a visual impairment. I felt so self conscious and didn't use it much at all. Then I progressed onto a long cane. I still felt very aware of looking different but because it was serving a practical purpose I used it. The turning point with feeling more positive about how I look to others came when I had my Dog for the Disabled (now Dogs For Good) assistance dog, Rowan, and became more independent. This led to gradual growth in confidence and now I don't mind how my different aids make me look a bit different. 

The coloured canes I looked at are made by Ambutech and I ordered it from the RNIB. It did take about six weeks to be delivered because these canes are made to order in Canada. I looked at the different colours and although my favourite colour is purple (which they had), I decided to go for pink because the handle stood out and I knew that when I drop it I will be able to find it more easily. I used to find that with a standard white cane with a black handle that if I dropped it I would then find it hard to see it, especially if I dropped it in shops where the cane blended in with the floor. I did decide to alternate with pink and white for the main sections of the cane because I can see the positive side of having a white cane (as mentioned at the beginning of this post) and I wanted to have have a reflective section.

There are a couple of improvements that I would make. Firstly, that the cane roller tip broke within two months of using it. This is a lot shorter than previous cane tips that typically lasted five months and my 'high mileage' cane tip. Do have a look at my earlier post on 1st August 2018 if you would like to read more about the different tips. I am now back to using the 'high mileage' tip. I also find it incredibly hard to fold the cane by myself because I do not have the strength to pull the sections apart. This is because the joints taper which means they tighten the more the cane is used. My previous cane (also an Ambutech) had straight joints and I could fold it independently.

I have already got some nicks out of the pink tape (it's been dropped a few times and I did run over it once!) but it will hopefully last a good number of years. I've had a few positive comments about the colour but not as many as I expected. I think that's a good thing and hopefully is an indicator that it's me as an individual that they see first rather than my sight loss or wheelchair. Overall, I really love my stripy pink cane and it makes me happy each time I use it - it feels like a part of me. 

A period of rest, revival and appreciation.....

Photo shows my new working area, with
 two computer monitors and a Dolphin 
keyboard to help me use Supernova more easily.

I have been absent quite some time for various reasons. The main one is that, as mention on my social media post a month ago, I was rather ill in February and I didn't start feeling like my normal self until the end of March. Also, we have been in the process of having an office built above our garage and this is now completed apart installing a fitted doormat. It is an amazing space to work in and is benefiting us all hugely now that we have our home back. My husband is an accountant and has been running his business from our home for about the last eight years. It has grown a great deal and now, along with my goals of developing a disability consultancy, it was time to move out of the house. I have moved from working off a dining room table to having a spacious desk with two monitors!

Photo shows a view from our office
 entrance looking out across fields
 and trees.

I did feel as though I should have been giving updates but there just weren't enough hours in the day or enough energy within me to do so. It was quite a test on my perfectionist tendencies! Life is calmer now and I feel ready to work on developing my training again and raising great awareness of my ambitions and plans for the future.

It was very interesting to consider the design of our office from scratch. I used all the knowledge I have gained in sight loss to ensure it was as accessible as possible. We have used contrast, making sure the desks and chairs are a dark colour to stand out against the floor. Also, we chose dark grey kitchen units and worktop to ensure I can have the best chance of seeing the edge of the worktop so that hopefully I won't knock things off it.

Photo shows my outdoor
 stairlift leading to our office

I needed to have a stairlift installed because the office is above the garage. This caused a dilemma because originally we were going to have a brick staircase but we all decided that a wooden staircase could be built more precisely to the stairlift specifications. I was unaware that there are outdoor stairlifts but we found one that is specially treated to withstand the elements. It does have a cover that we put over it when it's not in use. Our new garage doors are electrically operated which means that I can independently store my wheelchair in the garage and travel up to the office on my own using my crutches and the stairlift.

Photo shows Melissa
with a background of
blue sky, trees and fields.

As well as developing my training, I'm also working on information for a workshop that I've been asked to be part of. I'm really honoured to be invited and I'm looking forward to being back in the eye health sector for the day. More information to follow........

~ Best wishes, Melissa ~

Hearing the magic.....

As part of my husband's birthday celebrations, we went to the cinema to see 'Fantastic Beasts: The Crimes of Grindelwald'. As well as looking forward to seeing the next chapter in the Fantastic Beasts adventures, I was excited to watch a film while using an audio description headset for the first time. My sight impairment means that I miss a great deal of content during films, especially action scenes, because my tunnel vision restricts the amount I can see and my eyes cannot take in information quickly. I find it virtually impossible to follow a scene if it is moving quickly.

I have inadvertently listened to audio description during one of the David Attenborough wildlife documentaries and I found it incredibly helpful, especially when the animals were camouflaged against trees! I did also use it another time during an episode of a drama. At that point in time, I found that it interrupted the suspense of the scenes and was too intrusive for me. Since my sight last worsened, I now find it harder to follow films and I'm welcoming any help I can get to understand the story and make it more accessible. 

A photo of the audio description headphones and receiver unit. (I'm sorry for the very poor contrast between them and the background, next time I'll remember to consider that!)

During 'Crimes of Grindelwald' I had an over-ear headphone set to wear that was connected to a small rectangular receiver box that fitted in the palm of my hand. It was set up to receive the audio description once the film started. In the opening scenes I was incredibly grateful for this feedback because there were a lot of action scenes and I just couldn't keep up with it and would have missed out on valuable details. Throughout the whole film it was very useful to have the names of the characters spoken to me - I find it really difficult to recognise individual people on screen and often muddle them up which gets rather confusing. 

Whilst it did aid my understanding of the film, there were some drawbacks to using audio description. The main one was that at times when the sound of the film was very loud (usually the action scenes) it completely drowned out my audio description. I had to keep adjusting the volume throughout the whole film and at times I just had to accept that I couldn't hear the descriptions because the film was too loud. It would be good if the volume of the audio description automatically adjusted with the film's volume but I don't know if this is technologically possible. Also, I found that by listening to someone talking in the quiet moments did take away some of the magic and escapism of watching a film. It was a real conflict in my head of wanting someone to tell me what was happening but also wanting to completely submerge myself in the story. It was hard to escape from reality when listening to descriptions. 

It is worth noting that the staff at Empire cinema in Swindon were incredibly helpful, especially as I didn't book the headset in advance. I did check when I booked the tickets online to see if the screening was audio described. I asked the staff why only certain films shown at particular times are audio described, it is natural to believe that all films should have audio description. They were very informative and explained that not all the cinema screens have the infra red technology to allow audio description. It may be available for all films for more modern cinemas.

I would definitely recommend trying audio description if you haven't done so. Do let me know what your experiences are and if you have any tips for getting used to the description during quiet scenes. Also, do you have access to audio description at any film you wish to see?

On balance I think audio description is worth it for me but it is a compromise, as it often is when you have a disability. As much as you wish to wave a magic wand to fix the problem you are experiencing, sometimes you have to accept that the solution isn't always as perfect as you would like (and I'm a perfectionist!) but it can go some way to making your life that little bit more accessible. 

I look forward to reading your comments about this and hearing your audio description tips.

~ Best wishes, Melissa ~

Purple Tuesday - accessible shopping shouldn't just be one day a year but every day....

Today is 'Purple Tuesday', an awareness day when retailers in the UK are being encouraged to think about how to make shopping more accessible for people with disabilities. In total, people with disabilities make up 15% of the world's population which is more than 1 billion people. Whilst being in the largest growing minority group, life costs £550 more per month if you have a disability. However, people with disabilities also have spending power worth £249 billion per year to the British economy. This spending power is known as the 'purple pound' and highlights one of the reasons why it is so important to retailers that they work on making sure they provide an accessible service and meet all consumers' needs. 

Shopping is a challenging experience for me, as a wheelchair user, having severe sight loss and, to a lesser extent, wear hearing aids. All these impairments means there are different obstacles that make shopping less enjoyable and harder to carry out.

Firstly I need to be able to get into the shop itself and in rural Wiltshire, a lot have steps leading up to them and no ramp. I need enough space to move my electric wheelchair around and larger shops such as Boots, M&S, Waitrose are usually good. It is incredibly difficult when there are displays of items in the way or too narrow aisles and that is when I become anxious about knocking things over and causing damage. This is especially problematic at Christmas and I dread shopping then. As well as needing to navigate around the store freely, reaching items can be a challenge, although I’m lucky to have a wheelchair that rises up. The hardest task is usually when I pay because the card payment machine is often situated in an awkward position and isn’t always removable from its stand. I can’t usually see the number pad and hope for the best that I’ve pressed the correct buttons. I remember being in The Entertainer, paying for a toy for my children, when I couldn’t access the machine because they had cable tied it to the stand! I had to tell my young son my pin number and ask him to enter it. It was a poor experience, what would have happened if I was on my own?!

I use a long cane when I’m in my electric wheelchair because I have very narrow vision. When shops change their layout or have more stock at festive times, it is really disorientating and confusing. I can get claustrophobic and overwhelmed trying to find what I’m looking for and when comparing prices. If the layout is logical, and clearly displayed, then it is easier but it still takes me a long time, and combined with my mobility challenges, shopping is hard work and rather tiring. My hearing doesn’t affect my experience that much, but if it’s too noisy when I need to talk to someone, it can be hard to understand what they are saying. Also, although my hearing aids are brilliant at making it easier to hear what people are saying, it amplifies all sound so in a busy, noisy environment, it can be overwhelming, especially when combined with the disorientation of my sight impairment and the difficulties I have maneuvering around.

Despite the challenges, most staff in the shops are very helpful. I do think this helps overcome the obstacles if someone is there to offer support. I’m also confident to ask other shoppers too, and so far most people have been happy to help. This may depend on your location, I usually shop in my local small town where most people know me and it has a good community feel. Experiences may be different in larger cities where it is busier.

It takes a long time though for changes to take place, even when they are pointed out. I carried out an accessibility assessment for Waitrose three years ago (I’m a disability consultant). Mostly the store is accessible but there are some issues that needed addressing that I highlighted. One was that the cutlery area is completely inaccessible to someone in a wheelchair because they can’t reach them. Even when I detailed this in my report, nothing has ever been done about it which is really frustrating. They did make some changes to other areas but there are a few issues that still haven’t been addressed.

I do most of my shopping online because it is so much easier and more accessible. Unfortunately this doesn’t help our declining high street. I think initiatives like Purple Tuesday can help to raise awareness of the challenges faced by people with a disability but I wouldn’t want it to become a special day that is more accessible than any other. Shops should be as accessible as possible every day. I think what is really needed is awareness training (which I offer) about the impact that disability has on people’s lives and how the shops and their staff can support them in the best way. Often changes are simple and not expensive but can make all the difference to someone’s shopping experience.

Do comment and let me know what your experiences are when shopping with a disability and also what your thoughts are about Purple Tuesday. I'm genuinely interested to hear them.

~ Best wishes, Melissa ~

Model for a morning!

I had an exciting morning a couple of weeks ago being a model for Nationwide Building Society for their new marketing material. Initially I received an email inviting me to complete a survey if I was interested in the opportunity. When I filled it in I wasn’t expecting to hear from them for a while so I was really surprised to receive a call from Gemma a few days later with the photo shoot arranged for the following week! 

A photo showing Melissa sitting in her wheelchair in the kitchen,
with the photographer taking a photo and the art director assisting.

I specifically asked to be photographed in my wheelchair because there is so little representation of disability in the media, although it is slowly improving. They were very willing do this as long as I was happy.  The photos needed to show members of the Nationwide community carrying out activities that would need items that they would have purchased using their debit or credit card. Two of my hobbies are baking and playing the guitar so it was decided to use these scenarios. 

A photo showing Melissa sitting in her wheelchair in the
 kitchen,with the photographer taking a photo and the art
director assisting.

Christopher, the photographer, and Andrew, who assisted him, set the lighting up while I completed the forms with Gemma (brand executive) and Louise (art director). They were so helpful and read out the information to me because the writing was rather small. I then got into position in the kitchen and we worked out what kitchen equipment to use. When I put my apron on, I wanted to reverse it because the front looked a bit dirty but they said it looked more authentic! At first we mixed a flour and water mixture to go in my food mixer but it didn’t look very realistic so I suggested I beat some butter and sugar (I remembered the quantities I needed for a biscuit recipe). This looked so much better and different photos were taken with slight adjustments throughout. We then introduced an egg and the biscuits began to take shape!

You do have to concentrate and I did find at one point my mind wandered and I didn't realise that Christopher was directing me to smile at the camera. It's not as easy as you would think being photographed for a few hours, I did really enjoy it but wouldn't want to do it every day!

It was interesting to hear about what needs to be considered for putting the leaflets together. At one point Christopher took a photo of the ceiling so that the art department could piece this together with the photo of me so that the ceiling continued into the text seamlessly. 

After finishing the photos in the kitchen, which took about an hour, we moved into the living room for the photos of me playing the guitar. 

A photo showing Melissa sitting in her wheelchair with the
guitar on her lap. The photographer is taking a picture and
the art director and photographer's assistant are supporting.

I played a grade 1 exam piece 'Oriental Express' that I’m relearning. It’s harder now because I haven’t really played the guitar since I lost a lot of sight and I’m finding it very hard to follow the music. My eyes can’t keep up with the speed I play and I also cannot see more than one note especially if two notes need to be played at the same time. When I’m reading the notes I also can’t see the dynamics. As you can probably imagine, this makes learning the music a very lengthy and frustrating task. I love playing though so I’m determined to work at it and get up to my previous level (grade 3). I haven’t played to anyone other than Matthew or our children in over nine years but I didn’t have any nerves at all, everyone made me feel so at ease. Once they captured the photos they needed we were finished!

I really enjoyed the experience, and I’m looking forward to seeing the final images in the leaflets. All participants who were selected were given a £100 voucher and I’m going to use it to buy some roses and lavender for our front garden - it will be a lovely reminder of the morning. I do hope these photos help in some small way to offer greater representation of people who have an impairment. 

Please note that the photos I’ve shared in this blog post are not the official photos, Gemma kindly took them on her phone. They give a great ‘behind the scenes’ insight into what happens at a photo shoot. 

If you've had any experiences like this where you've had the opportunity to raise greater awareness of something, I'd love to hear your thoughts in the comments. I hope you've enjoyed my insight to being a model for the morning. 

~ Best wishes, Melissa ~

A photo showing the chocolate chunk biscuits I partly made during the photo
shoot and completed afterwards They were yummy!

Confidence - something that grows with time

I had an exciting opportunity last week to talk about building confidence at Wiltshire Sight's centenary event on 12th September 2018 at the Corn Exchange, Devizes. I was invited as one of the three speakers, all discussing topics related to sight loss.

I developed the talk with the aim of getting participants to think about what confidence is and how they can boost their own confidence. This could be linked to the impact of an impairment such as sight loss or mobility. The questions I posed  could also be related to an aspect of life that someone may find challenging such as attending social events or experiencing a lack of confidence when you lose your job. It was an enthusiastic session, with all participants sharing their thoughts about confidence.

The participants worked in small groups a couple of times during the session and these are the answers they gave to my questions:

Confidence is.....

• Ability to integrate with life, particularly others.
• Know what you want to do and overcoming the 'I can't do'.
• Comfort in your environment, giving it a go.
• Feeling good about yourself.
• Giving yourself permission to be yourself.
• Ability to talk positively about challenges such as sight loss.

How to develop confidence.....

• Recognition of problems e.g. using a badge to indicate sight loss when out.
• Make an effort, explain to others.
• Improving skills and knowledge.
• Not being afraid to have a go.
• Realising others are also lacking in confidence. 

After participants shared their thoughts about confidence, I shared my experiences about how my confidence has been affected by my sight and hearing loss and also my mobility impairment. All of my impairments have caused me to feel a bit different to my peers. This has been tough to deal with when also adjusting to the impact of these impairments when they worsen. However, as I get older it becomes easier to adapt to them and use all the knowledge and resources I've gained over the years to get back to a positive outlook. During the talk I spoke about how I have been able to overcome these challenges and gain confidence, the main contributors to this were my long cane, my Dogs for the Disabled (now Dogs For Good) assistance dog, Rowan,  who was probably the biggest influence over ten years ago and all the support received from family, friends and lots of people in the eye health world. 

One important thought that came out of the session is that everyone experiences lack of confidence to some extent at some time, even though they may appear to be very confident. 

Photo shows the flip chart notes of the feedback from the group work. The details of these notes are included in the blog text above this photo. There are also representations of items that have helped my confidence journey including: my long cane, bumpons, my Apple wireless keyboard with a large print silicone overlay, a magazine article about my partnership with my assistance dog by Dogs for the Disabled (now called Dogs For Good) and a copy of the special edition Royal Mail stamps that my assistance dog, Rowan appeared on. 

The feedback from the session was very positive with people saying that they had really enjoyed it and that I had inspired them and given them a confidence boost. I really enjoyed delivering a talk again - it always gives me a buzz to do this work. It also makes me feel happy to be using my experiences in a very positive way. 

I was able to chat to other professionals at the event and also learn about new assistive aids that are available. In particular, the selection of wearable magnification and smart glasses is widening. I tried Orcam - text to speech glasses - a while ago and I was amazed at what they can do. Last week I tried Oxsight Prism which are some glasses that seem to condense what you are seeing so that if you have loss of peripheral vision, these glasses will assist you in seeing more. I have tunnel vision so it was very interesting to try them out. They did enable me to see more, and changing the colours can be useful. However, I would be a bit self-conscious wearing them out and about but that is personal preference. All the smart glasses are rather expensive but this is to be expected with new technology. I'm sure that as they grow in popularity and are not so new to the market they will reduce in price. 

Other interesting advancements are that the handheld optical magnifiers can now be charged with a wireless charging base, similar to mobile phones, instead of using batteries. This makes them a little lighter and means you don't have to fiddle around with trying to get the batteries in the correct way. They are obviously more expensive than the battery ones for the initial purchase but then you will save money by no longer needing to buy batteries for them. 

Overall, it was a very interesting and enjoyable day and I'm grateful for Leanne Hubbard's and Maggie Hemmings' invitation to be a speaker all those months ago. If you are interested in me delivering a similar talk, or wish to discuss any other accessibility services I offer, please do contact me via email: melissa@sansumandco.co.uk.