Wednesday 6 June 2018

Invisible Impairments

Following on from my previous post about mental health, today I want to consider other impairments that are often not visible but can still have a massive impact on people's lives. If you've read my other blog entries, you will be very aware of my sight loss. I do often think of this as an invisible disability because so many people who see me do not realise that I've lost a lot of sight. This makes it difficult out and about because there can be misunderstandings and I'm very aware about making sure I do the right thing in case others form opinions of me based on my actions due to my vision. I shouldn't think like that but I do, I don't want to appear to be ignoring someone or to bump into something because I haven't seen it. I do use a long cane when I'm in my electric wheelchair but a lot of people don't connect this to sight loss, they believe it is connected to my wheelchair in some way. I think it is difficult for some people to imagine someone with more than one impairments still getting out and doing regular daily tasks. 

A year ago, I was diagnosed with mild hearing loss. Usually the NHS wouldn't provide hearing aids for that level but combined with my sight impairment, I was having a lot of difficulties and was feeling rather overwhelmed and isolated in the settings where hearing was a challenge. In social settings it was hard to hear what others were saying, this would be embarrassing and I'd often just keep quiet about it and hope I responded in the right way to conversations! It was very difficult though especially as my eyes cause so much of a challenge and in a social setting the light is often poor for me. It made me feel very cut off from the situation and unable to participate like everyone else. I was finding it hard to hear what my children and husband were saying to me which was becoming increasingly frustrating for everyone. I could tell they were talking to me but despite my best efforts, there were many times on a daily basis that I just couldn't hear the sounds properly and turn them into words. It did depend on the situation, whether they were facing me etc but it was becoming much harder and it was tiring, especially on top of all the challenges I have with seeing. It was also very difficult to hear what people were saying on the phone and this was particularly difficult at work. 

I find it doubly isolating to have sight and hearing loss - neither of which is visible and all their challenges are really only known to those who are experiencing them. If you have a more visible disability such as needing to use a wheelchair, it is easier for someone to imagine the challenges you may have, such as not being able to get up steps, unable to travel over uneven surfaces etc. 

Since receiving my hearing aids a year ago, it has made so much difference and in ways I didn't imagine, especially because my hearing loss was diagnosed as being mild. I was told that the hearing aids may not benefit me so I am amazed by the results. Firstly, I can now hear what my children and husband are saying most of the time (except when they really mumble or walk away while they are talking!) I can hear when a car is coming up behind me - I didn't realise I was missing out on this auditory cue but for me this is so important because of my tunnel vision. It has made it safer for me being around cars. I can hear the different sounds my long cane makes on surfaces which gives me additional feedback about the environment. My hearing is improved in social settings but because the hearing aids amplify all sounds, sometimes it can just all be a bit of a sensory overload. I do use the different settings on the hearing aids which includes one that helps to cut down background noise and just focus on conversations around me. Unfortunately though in a busy restaurant/pub, it can just be a bit much for me and makes the experience less enjoyable. Imagine having lots of noise going on but finding it hard to distinguish conversations and other sounds whilst only being able to see a small tunnel in front of you and being in an unfamiliar setting and not knowing where things are. It does make it all feel rather unnerving and a bit claustrophobic, especially if the setting is small/crowded too. Thankfully these situations don't occur that often and I am able to deal with them, I'm just glad I don't have to every day! 

My hearing aids are discreet, they do rub a bit with my reading glasses but largely they are comfy to wear and many people wouldn't even know I have them, except perhaps when I have my hair tied up. I'm not self conscious about them, probably due to my age and the outlook I now have, I would much rather use an aid that makes every day life easier rather think of what others thought of the aid. I would not have felt this way 20+ years ago!

I do find it very interesting to think of the different challenges I have with each of my impairments and what I'm having to do to work around them. In one sense it's rather scary - it can make me feel like I'm in my own little bubble when I'm out of my comfort zone, but many people have different challenges and impairments that are invisible to others. I think it's a case of being aware of what impact these challenges can have and then being able to offer support and understanding. This is why I feel so passionately about being able to share my experiences and deliver my work as a disability consultant. People are only aware of how it is for someone else if they are informed about it or experience it themselves.  

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